This is so brilliant that I'm actually sad I didn't think of it myself.
"The founding principle of the Journal of Universal Rejection (JofUR) is rejection. Universal rejection. That is to say, all submissions, regardless of quality, will be rejected."
I may dig up "Quantify vs Quantitate" and submit it, but right now the Intarwebs have forgotten it, and I'd need to go back through my old archives to find it.